All Signed Up

Well, Braylon is all signed up for daycare. His spot is saved and he will be making new friends come January. While I was there signing him up and saving his spot, there was a mom there dropping her 12 month old for her first day of daycare. Her daughter was doing great and the mom was making it through. We talked for a little bit. It was so nice to be able connect with a mom doing what I am about to do. She was still alive. Yes she cried a little, but when I saw her she was confident in her daughters care there. If she can then I can. I know that this will be hard but I am thinking that once I am at work keeping busy, then things will get better. I want to provide for my family. I want Braylon to have clothes and shoes and heat and food. I do not want him to have to want for the necessities of life. I want him to have the stress free child hood that I was privileged to.

The other day I was thinking about my mom and her being a stay at home mom. I thought back and realized that I went to daycare. I remember when we lived in Newport Beach and my dad would come get me early some days and we would have a father-daughters lunch. I loved those days. When we lived in Santa Cruz I also went to a daycare. And finally when we moved to Fresno we went to after school care and summer daycare. I do not remember what my mom was doing in the early years. I know that in Fresno she was working, she was a single mom to three kids. I think in Santa Cruz she went to school. And I think in Newport Beach it was to give her time with the new sibling, Tyler. However, I am not 100 percent positive in the early years. What I do know is that I know that BOTH of my parents love me very much and them putting me in daycare does not contradict it. I know that I learned a lot and feel it probably helped with social development. If I was okay then Braylon will be fine too. One reason I love having an analytical brain, I can see the positive and rationalize with myself!

We are going to be fine. Braylon is going to love it. I will still get my quality time with him. I have a feeling that working will make me a better mom.