Love you too

Today is a fitting day to tell Braylon about someone very special in my life. I have been wanting to write this to him for awhile. I put it off each time because the emotions that come are still so strong for me. Most days I do not want to re-visit them. I started this blog entry over a year ago....

Dear Braylon,
As you know your grandfather Karl is not around. It hurts me for you to not know the man he is and for him to have not met you. I really wish he was still here to watch both of us grow. But he is not. Their are days when I look at you and see him. His smile, his look and mostly his stubbornness. He was the most stubborn person I have ever met. He was also the most amazing. In one word he was completely and utterly selfless. He would give anyone the shirt off of his back. Most times they did not even need to ask.

I miss him so much. He has missed so much of his kids lives. I lost so much. He is missing so much.

Braylon, I am going to do my very best to show you the person he is. I will tell stories at every chance. Truthfully, they will probably annoy you. But I will tell them still. It hurts me that you will never get to met him. He would have loved you. I know that he does love you.

Love
Mom


It is crazy that almost four years out and the emotions are still as raw. That I still miss him so much. There are still things in my life I am not sure I want to participate in because he will not be there. That I still talk about him in present tense. It throws people off. I know I should probably say things about him in the past tense but it always comes out in the present. I like to believe that he is still present....

I miss you so much. Love you too