The drop off

 EDIT: Video now works!

Sometimes I second guess my decision to work. I know that money has to be made to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. But every so often I feel like I am slighting Braylon by not being is primary caregiver any more. Now let me put this out there. I am not the type of person who believes that Braylon's teachers are raising him. Me and his dad are raising him. They are teaching him and guiding him through the days he needs to be there. They are part of the village involved with Braylon but they are not his parents and no amount of time there will change that. With that being said, sometimes I feel that mommy guilt for leaving him there. All he wants is to be with me and I should want the same thing. Most of the time my mind wonders to him, but I love my me time. I love using my brain for the stuff I went to school for. I did not get a degree in early childhood development. I do not have any knowledge on how to raise a child other than what I research online. I know that I am not a proper educator for Braylon. Sure I can have taught him a lot, but kids need more. 

Sometimes when I drop him off at daycare I wonder if we have made the right choice. Should he be going there in general (we love our daycare so this is more a general feeling)? I think about how he must miss me and thinks I do not love him. And then Braylon does one of the many, many things that he has learned there. He covers his mouth when he coughs or sneezes. He says thank you EVERY time you hand him something. He know what shoes are, he even knows that my heels are shoes, and he says 'shoes' every time he sees a pair. He answers your questions with an yes or a no. He is able to effectively communicate with us. Which has lead to very few fits now. He use to throw a lot because he would get frustrated that we did not understand. Now I cannot remember the last one he threw. He has known for awhile what a book was, but now he says book. he will now 'read' the book to us. He sings to all the songs on the radio.

When Braylon was six months we started sign language. He did not take fast to in and we gave up. We have tried to re-introduce it here and there but it never really took. At Braylon's school they do basic sign and in the first three days there he had the sign for more down and did it all the time! Well now it looks like he has picked up another. Take a look at the video.

That is right the sign for eat. He can now effectively tell us when he is hungry.

Now whenever I get sad that I do not spend every waking moment with my son, I remember all that he is learning and how much he has grown in the short six weeks he has been attending school. I shocks me how fast he learns and how much he absorbs. Even if I could stay home again full time, I do not think I would. He needs to be in his school learning all that he can. He needs the guidance that me and his dad cannot give him.